


The Time Meddler

by Diana_Prallon



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Character Death, Community: kinkme_merlin, Crossing Timelines, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Kink Meme, Magic Revealed, Multi, POV Multiple, POV Third Person Omniscient, Romance, Series Redux, Sibling Incest, Timey-Wimey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-05
Updated: 2012-11-05
Packaged: 2017-11-18 01:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/555206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diana_Prallon/pseuds/Diana_Prallon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They said no man can change his history, but Merlin doesn't believe it. Time is his to bend and his destiny is his to shape. Again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It was a field of blood. Dark clouds and heavy rain, mud and corpses. Everyone he ever loved, everyone he ever cared, tainted, slashed, undone like a raggedy doll captured by a wolf.

Which, of course, was exactly what Albion had turned into.

He looked around, drunk with despair. Morgana's body protected Arthur's from harm - far too late. She had been faster than Merlin, and now she was the one who carried a slash over her body, dead before she hit the ground.

Mordred lay near, still trembling lightly. It would be over, soon. His face was paled, from the lack of blood. Around them, the knights of the round table, the mythical warriors, stood silently - trees in a forest of dead.

Arthur looked peaceful, almost asleep. Merlin hoped he'd wake up, like so many times before, when he thought everything was lost and his King came back, a easy smile upon seeing him.

His eyelids fluttered, and Merlin knelled beside his head, resting it on his lap. Arthur's blue eyes pierced him, an he coughed lightly.

"It will be alright" hushed Merlin, trying to convince himself.

"Yes."

"Don't talk. You're injured."

"I'm dying."

"No", his voice was strong, a command. "You'll not die."

Arthur blinked, slowly, looking at him.

"Not even your powers could prevent that", he said, and then looked at the mass of black curly hair all over him. "She came back."

"She did" agreed the warlock, still bitter. "But too late."

The man smiled, just a tiny movement of the mouth.

"I always knew..."

"Don't talk."

"I always knew she'd come back."

There was no answer, for Merlin was still angry, still worried. Arthur paled, and there was nothing he could do. He tried to whisper the words, feel the magic flowing to heal his body, but it wasn't enough.

"Merlin."

His voice was weak, impossibly weak for someone who had towered over Merlin's life, shaping every moment of it.

"Yes, sire?"

"We made it. Albion."

There was a happy, blessed smile in the King's mouth, and the warlock tried to answer it.

"We did."

Arthur's breath was deep and pained, and it took him many tries to manage the following words.

"Yes, we did... Merlin..."

Merlin was hopeful, for a moment, for his breathing seemed to have gotten better. But it was just for a few moments, until it became shallow, hollow, until there was no more air coming out. He was gone. Dead.

It took the man a long time to process that thought. Arthur Pendragon, High King of Albion, was dead. His knights were dead. His sister. His heirs. There was no one left behind, but him.

"No."

He stood up, angry, denying, wishing that it was different. This wasn't the destiny he had signed in for. It was too soon. They were still young. Not a dash of grey had colored their hair.

Too soon.

There was the unmistakable sound of large wings, and Kilgarrah landed near. Merlin turned to him, all his anger boiling, the treason, the pain, washing over him.

"You lied."

The dragon shook his head.

"I said, warlock, that it would be better if she never knew the strength of her powers."

"She tried to save him", he said, as if it proved the dragon wrong. There was no reply. "You said he's be the greatest king Camelot ever knew. That he'd unite Albion."

"And he did, didn't he?"

"A few months!"

"Still, he'll always be remembered."

"No."

The dragon merely looked at him, and there was pity in his eyes, which made Merlin's anger even more powerful.

"It's not enough."

"It his destiny..."

"I DON'T CARE!" he was roaring, and he hardly knew what he wanted to do - he wanted to hurt Kilgarrah, to undo everything, he wanted to come back... "IT NOT ENOUGH. IT'S NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE."

"This is your doing, Emrys" answered the dragon, chiding him as when he was a young servant in Camelot. "I told you not to save the boy, I told you not to trust in the witch..."

"YOU ARE WRONG. YOU WERE WRONG. IF I HADN'T LISTENED TO YOU, SHE'D NEVER HAVE BETRAYED US. YOU - AND GAIUS - ALL THE...  _DESTINY_ YOU SAID, YOU CHANGED IT. YOU CHANGED ME. YOU LEAD ME! AND I LET YOU! I TRUSTED..."

He was raging against the massive shape of the dragon, screaming his lungs, moving his arms, but Kilgarrah remained untouched by his words.

"It's no good to regret what was. You cannot change what is, now"

"I can't? I  _can't_? Says who? You... You  _watch me_ "

And, with a fluid movement, he let it out: all his power, all his magic, flowing out of his fingers and toes, willing with all his being to change what was. Willing to be once again young, naive and himself - Merlin, not Emrys.

And in a blur of colors and shapes, the world changed around him.


	2. Chapter 1

He was in his bed. No, he wasn't – it was too rash, and too slim to be his bed. He heard the door open, but could barely see, for the daylight poured through the window mercilessly. He must have forgotten to close it.  
"Merlin, you're going to be late. Again."  
It was the voice that made him remember – the impossible voice of Gaius. He looked at him, as he always did, his eyebrow curved in disapproval. He was there. Merlin hadn't listened to his voice for years, his mentor and friend, long gone.  
"Gaius!"  
"Were you expecting someone else? Dreaming about having your own manservant, perhaps? Now, boy, get out of bed!"  
If someone asked, he couldn't explain how he had made it – coming back in time – and surely Gaius would think he was mad. Maybe he was, maybe he had lost it after the battle. He felt the surroundings, both with his fingers and his powers, amazed. Soon enough, the door was opened again, with his impatient tutor glaring at him.  
"Come on, Merlin. There's bound to be a number of patients after last night's storm."  
"Sorry" he said, but couldn't avoid a smile. It was good to see him again, and even the foul mood that storms brought to the physician were warm and welcome after all he had been through. "Maybe you should prepare something for your bones."  
The old man looked at him, insulted.  
"Is it so? And what you the doctor recommend, may I ask?"  
"Some malva cream?" he asked, uncertain. "And menthe?"  
The man shook his head, and walked out of his room. Merlin grabbed his familiar clothing and got dressed as fast as he could. He needed to find out exactly how long he had came back in time, in order to decide what he could do.  
"What day is today?" he asked, trying his best to look naïve, as he sat for breakfast. Gaius looked at him again, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance.  
"Have you been drinking again?"  
"…Yes?" he answered, tentatively.  
"Wednesday, now, get a move. Uther wants to see me, and surely Arthur has a few chores for you as well."  
That meant that he was at least some eight years back – Uther was still alive and well enough to order them about, and Morgana hadn't yet shown her true face. Maybe – just maybe – there was still time to fix things with her. Before the poison, before Morgause took her away, perhaps even before her powers were developing – but that was too much to ask for, he didn't dare to believe it.  
"So, do you know what does Uther want?"  
"He's sure that someone broke into Morgana's chambers and started the fire yesterday, so he's arresting everyone suspicious of consorting with Druids and any magic folk. I don't think I need to remind you to keep your head down, and stay out of trouble, do I?"  
"I always stay out of trouble!" he said, shaking his head. "It's Arthur…"  
"Hopefully, you'll both stay out of trouble, and I'll managed to cook something stronger, so Morgana manages to sleep and don't burst into another magic fit during the night."  
That made Merlin smile harder than anything else. It was it – there was still time! He could get everything right. Starting today, he was going to make a better life for all of them. He got himself ready as far as he could, in a display of ability that he rarely ever shown. Gaius stared at him, clearly bewildered by his enthusiasm.  
"Better get to work!" There was no reply, but the confused and worried look that he remembered so well. In a surge of affection, he pressed Gaius shoulder. "Come on!"

* * *

The first opportunity he had, Merlin raced to the dungeons of the castle, walking the well known path that would lead him to Kilgarrah. There was a chance the dragon wouldn't understand what he was on about, but he needed to go there anyway.  
"I did it."  
"So it seems young warlock", said the dragon, looking grim. "But I remember very well you saying it was my fault that it all had turned the way it did, so why are you here? It's not like you'd seek my counsel."  
He looked at his old friend, a felt a blush of shame rising to his cheeks.  
"It wasn't fair. I'm sorry."  
The beast shook its head, agreeing.  
"I'll still free you, when the time comes." He promised, clutching his hands. "Will you try and torn Camelot apart again?"  
"Soon enough, Merlin, you and I won't remember how things were solved in the past. That reality will fade away from our minds, as it must."  
"Have you done that before?"  
The dragon laughed his naturally well humored laugh.  
"We can't remember what can't be, my friend. Once you've changed your path, the memories will start fading away. It will become flashes and dreams, although it might be harder on the witch."  
"So I must do as much as I can, as soon as possible. And, as I've already said, don't call her that. She's… She won't turn her back on us now."  
"Alas, I hope you're right, Merlin. It would be better for all of us if those evil doings never come to pass."  
Kilgarrah flew away, and Merlin turned his back, climbing back to the castle, planning his new life.

* * *

He grabbed Morgana's potion and walked straight to her bedroom, knocking softly on the door. He hoped that Gwen was already gone, for he wouldn't be able to go on with his plan if, this time, she had chosen to stay.  
The girl opened the door, her with nightgown floating behind her.  
"Gaius asked me to deliver this."  
"I don't need any potion, thank you."  
She still looked upset, shaken, terrified. He wanted to hold her, and say it was going to be okay, but that hardly would be appropriate. Not to mention, although she looked years younger now, and much more vulnerable, he was, too, much younger – even if he didn't feel it yet, and from what he remembered, she wasn't the kind of girl that would like to be perceived as a damsel in distress.  
"Merlin. Ignore what I said last night. I had a nightmare. I was upset."  
There she was, trying to be brave, trying to handle the secrets on her own. It amazed him, now more than ever, that Gaius thought she wouldn't be able to keep her head in place while hiding herself from Uther. She did it very well in the following years, and he was sure that she would be able to do it now.  
"I know. I didn't tell anyone."  
She looked like she was about to cry, and walked away from him, hiding her emotions.  
"I'm sorry. It's usually Gwen that has to deal with me when I'm like this."  
"I don't mind. Maybe I could help."  
"I doubt that."  
"You'd be surprised." He closed the door behind him, and she turned around, waiting for something – waiting for him to say it. "I understand. I realize what fighting all this must be for you. Specially for you."  
"Why specially for me?" she seemed outraged at the idea, as if he was saying she was somehow too delicate for that. He would have chuckled, if the emotions weren't closing up his throat.  
"You're the King's Ward. You know his hatred of magic better than anyone."  
"So that's what you think it's been happening to me. The dreams, the fire, you think it was magic!"  
He shook his head, and knew that if he didn't force the words out right now, the past would catch up with him, forcing him to spill the same things he did once more.  
"Yes."  
She gasped, for surely she didn't expect him to say it like that – easily and certain.  
"So, will you be calling the king's man now? Perhaps your beloved Arthur, before I tear down the whole of Camelot with my dammed magic?"  
Morgana was hysterical, on the verge of tears, and he walked around, nervous.  
"No, Morgana…"  
"But you should, shouldn't you? That's why you came here? To accuse me?"  
"That's not why…"  
"I'll probably curse everyone around, that's why you're giving me this potion, so you can…"  
"Morgana, STOP."  
It was a command voice, the kind of order that came easily from the lips of the older Merlin, but seemed out of place now. Still, she looked at him, panting and nervous.  
"You will not curse anyone, nor will turn down the city."  
"How do you know? Magic is evil, you know it, and it'll force me…"  
"Because I trust you" he said, and he meant it. He had trusted the girl Morgana was, and knew now that he could still trust her. She might be too agitated for her own good now, but sharing the secret would give her strength.  
"You… what?"

"I trust you, my lady" he said, kneeling in front of her, and holding her hands as if he was swearing fealty to her. "I trust you, with my life."

He couldn't put it into words, even knowing he must, so he just whispered and looked straight into her eyes, while their hands grew warm. He offered her the flower he had summoned – obviously magical, completely made of light, glowing orange, red and yellow, like a flame. He watched as her eyes widened, and she looked from him to the flower, while everything became clear for her. Those, probably, were the most painful moments of his life – both of them – the moment when it everything could be changed – or not.  
"Merlin!" she said, shaking with disbelief and relief at once. "Merlin!"  
She dropped his hands and the flower as well, and held his shoulders. He stood up, looking at her, ready to say something, but she didn't let him. She held his face between her hands, and kissed him – his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, his lips, his chin, repeatedly, murmuring his name and thanking him. He couldn't help himself, he smiled, enjoying the reaction, feeling the relief that it had all gone to plan – for now.  
"Thank you. You… Thank you."  
"My lady" he said, his voice low and unsure.  
"You can help me! And… Your dreams…?"  
He shook his head, denying.  
"I don't dream. You're a Seer, Morgana, but I'm not. I can't help you with that. But I  _will_  keep your secrets and find ways to help you whenever I can."  
She looked at him, crooking her head slightly to the left.  
"Have you been doing magic, all this time?"  
"Yes?" he answered, tentatively. "But no one knows… Just Gaius… He…"  
"So  _Gaius_  knows about you, but didn't see fit to tell me…"  
She was so angry, the words failed her. He pleaded.  
"Gaius cares a lot about you. He didn't want to put you in the position of having to lie to the King."  
She shook her head.  
"He told you not to tell me, didn't he?"  
"He did what he thought it was best, and I did as I thought was best" Merlin replied, stiffly.  
"Thank you, Merlin."  
She turned away, and he didn't know what to say.  
"Your secret is safe with me", she said, finally.  
"Do you want me to go? Do you want me to help you?"  
She looked at him, a mean smile in her mouth.  
"I don't think our tutors would like it."  
"I don't care" he said, shaking his head. "If I did, I wouldn't be here."  
"What do I do about my dreams?"  
He sighed and looked at her.  
"You'll take the potion, for now, and will arrange to go for your father's grave in a few days, and then we'll go to the Druids. They'll know what to do."  
She stared him, a bit angry.  
"I should just take the potion?"  
"Morgana, please." He said, and the lie came from his lips, easily. "I don't often have dreams, as you do, but I had one. I know how this must go, for all our sakes. Uther must not get close to them, and if we left know, he'd be sure someone kidnapped you. It will be soon, I promise."  
She agreed, finally, and set on her bed.  
"So, what will happen?"  
"I can't tell you that" he said, taking a deep breath. "You know I can't, and it's not clear either. Everything will be solved, I promise."  
She took the bottle to her lips, and drank it at once. She looked better, but still scared and tired.  
"Can you stay until I'm asleep? Please?" she looked away, before continuing. "I feel safer if I know someone will be around to avoid… further damage."  
"My lady" he said, and his voice was soft and caring. "I'll stay as long as you want."  
She nodded, and lay on the top of the bed, curled on her side. Merlin seat in a bedside stool – where Gwen seemed to have been most of the afternoon – and held her hand. She clasped it hard, for a long while, until they both fell asleep.

 


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you're shocked/ewed/etc for the mentions of Merlin/Morgana, Arthur/Gwen and Merlin/Gwen in a fanfic tagged as Merlin/Arthur, I'll just say that I'm planning a slow development of the ship, and not very straight-forward. These two have to find out about their feelings, and considering Merlin - having lived some ten more years than Arthur at this point, still didn't get it, it won't be easy at all. LOL.
> 
> (Also, I don't think the Romance is the main point here - apart from making fun of it - so, there's that as well.)

It was a loud noise that startled Merlin awake. His body felt stiff and his position was far from comfortable as his eyes opened to see Gwen staring at him – at  _them_ , he realized, as he saw Morgana raise her head from her pillow – in utter shock.

"It's not…", he started, standing up in a middle jump that caused him to bump in the bed, but the girl didn't even seemed to notice, as she moved her hands in despair.

"The King is coming" she shrieked, turning to her mistress. "He wishes to break fast with you, my lady, he's worried about your safety."

As if he had been summoned by the mention of his name, Uther walked in the bedroom, and Merlin could just picture the scene in his mind: Morgana in her nightgown, Gwen half soaked from the water she spilled from the basin, still laying on the ground, and him – standing there, where he shouldn't be.

"What is the meaning of this?" he asked, his voice raised in temper. "What are you doing here?", he turned to Morgana, instead, and there was a dangerous edge in his voice. "What has the boy done?"

The girl smiled at him, her face guarded underneath the smile the summoned to calm the King down, so fast that Merlin didn't even had the time to wonder what she was doing before she was talking.

"Oh, you know, we were just plotting to conquer Camelot with magic, kissing each other breathless" she said, her tone clearly teasing. "And then we held hands all night and promised each other undying love."

Uther seemed rather taken aback, unsure if he should laugh or scold her for the appealing behavior she was demonstrating this morning. Gwen, on the other hand, seemed to believe every word of it as she looked from on to the other with her eyes wide and her mouth open in a complete "o" – while Merlin could feel his skin betraying him and turning red in embarrassment. Morgana, of course, didn't seem to even notice any of that, laughing easily before continuing.

"Actually, everyone seems to be worried about me today. Arthur sent Merlin downstairs to ask me to have breakfast with him, and Gwen says you came for the same reason. I'm  _fine_ , Uther, really."

The King creased his brow, and it was clear that although he had accepted the explanation, he was still displeased by what had happened – both Merlin's presence and Morgana's words.

"It's unseemly for a man to be at a lady's chamber unattended – especially when she's on her nightgown."

Morgana's eyebrow raised itself again, but before she could say something, Merlin spoke up.

"I'm sorry, sire, I'm so frequently late that I thought Gwen would already be here! It's my fault…"

He was sure Uther would punish him for that – maybe he'd go to the dungeons for a few days, of maybe he's be reacquainted with Camelot's finest vegetables, but the girl spoke before the King could say anything.

"And now we have two men in my bedroom while I haven't been able to wash myself yet – probably because  _no one around seems to know how to knock_. Honestly, I need to get ready in other to attend breakfast", she said, gesturing them to the door. "If you'll excuse me – Merlin, tell Arthur we'll have a family breakfast. Gwen – I'll need some water to wash myself. Uther – I'll be downstairs soon".

Her tone was a clear dismissal, and the King didn't seem to enjoy it much, but begrudgingly accepted the reprimand in her tone. Gwen curtsied and hurried out of the door, and Merlin smiled, and bowed saying "my lady", walking away as fast as he could towards Arthur's chambers. He was glad that he wasn't near enough for Uther to declare his punishment right away when he heard the door close.

* * *

Merlin could barely keep himself together during the two following weeks. Morgana's nightmares were becoming stronger, and even with his tips and talks, it was clear that once she was asleep, her magic was breaking free. It didn't help that she hardly managed to be alone for long enough to cast a couple simple spells without being noticed and refused to tell Gwen anything about her powers in order to protect her friend. All the bottled up magic seemed to explode once she slept, and Merlin had made a habit of waking up an hour earlier than he was supposed to, so he could fix Morgana's chambers before Gwen arrived.

He and Kilgarrah had talked about the possible consequences of his time meddling, and the dangers of disrupting time as he had done, so he knew they'd have to be extra careful: if he changed too many events, he might create a bigger mess than the one he was trying to clean. He couldn't write people out of their lives, or major events – so he had decided to use a particular time-window to take Morgana to the Druid's camp without disrupting everyone else's life's too much.

His eyes were steady in a way his confidence wasn't when he told her it was time.

* * *

Morgana walked into the dining room with her sweetest smile. She knew exactly how she should play her tutor, if she were to get her way.

"I've been meaning to visit my parent's graves" she said, when they were almost done with their supper. Uther frowned as he looked at her.

"Why is that?"

She sighed, showing the pain she used to hide within herself, allowing tears to drop from her eyes.

"I feel that, during those years in your house, I've been neglecting what I owe them. My condolences, my respect, my love. Although I've learned to love you, I still mourn and miss my own mother and father, the family I lost. We have been to my father's grave last summer, but I haven't been over my mother's for more than five years. I intend to do a peregrination and visit them both."

"Sometimes I forget, my child, that you had such heavy losses, but it doesn't help to thrive in your pain."

Before the man could go on, she smiled again, still a bit sad.

"Also, someone's got to see the old castle; it won't do you any harm that people remember that the House of Gorlois hasn't fallen, and that they are still faithful to you, sire, and their people should be as well."

The king smiled at the girl, patting her lightly.

"Always a strategist, Arthur's much to learn from you. Yes, you must go. I'll make sure some of the knights go as well. It will be good for the people of Cornwall to see you again."

Remembering Merlin's insistent words, Morgana spoke again.

"I'd like Gwen to come with me" she said, and dropped her head a bit. "I'll need a maidservant for the journey, and there's no one I'd trust as much."

He shook his head, agreeing.

"I don't see why not. Tell her to get your things ready; you should ride in the morning."

"Thank you" she said, and she truly meant it, then. Uther smiled at her, and for a moment, Morgana could almost hope that he would, one day, accept her as she was, but, knowing better than to believe in that hope, she just curtsied and walked away.

* * *

The following morning, just a few moments after Morgana's party left the city, Gaius walked into the throne room, Merlin just a step behind. He arched his eyebrows disapprovingly at the boy one last time before speaking to the King.

"I have some bad news, sire" he said, looking gloom. "The old Eldred, that traded southern plants with me died this week."

Uther looked at him, seeming not to understand why he was being bothered with such news, but still managed to reply courteously.

"I'm sad to hear one of your friends' died, Gaius, but that's hardly surprising in your age."

"You see, sire, he didn't have the chance to get to get the golden gulmohar flowers this year, and as you surely know, those are vital to brew the potion that relieves the symptoms of lung fever; they will be sorely missed next winter, many will end up dyeing."

"Can't you just buy it from someone else?" asked Uther, now alarmed.

"You see, sire, it is a rare flower and too hard to find; not many can find the true golden flower of the gulmohar; there are many yellow and copper ones that can fool the untrained eye, and they'd be useless to the potion. Eldred is the only one I've ever seen selling it."

The king looked that the man for a mere second before saying.

"So, surely, you must fetch the flower, Gaius. We can't risk our people like that."

The old physician shook his head in denial.

"Sire, the old Eldred died after falling from his horse and bumping his head, and one has to climb slopes to catch the flower. We are too old for such quests, our body too broken, and that was the curse of Eldred." He looked really tired and old, his shoulders turned inwards to increase his frailty. "I think Merlin should fetch it, sire."

Uther looked at the boy for the first time since they had arrived in the room.

"Will he be able to find the right flower?"

"He has dealt with it before" said Gaius, with confidence. "Merlin has helped me with the potions last winter, and is thoroughly capable of recognizing it. Also, he'd young and foolish, and those qualities are good enough to climb slopes and pick flowers, if not for anything else" Said the old man, with a hint of amusement. Merlin gaped at him, shocked, but that was his come back from having told Morgana about his magic, and having her hate Gaius. He deserved it, and at least until she managed to calm herself enough to hear the old man, he'd take it gladly.

"So? Send to boy to it at once! If I remember it correctly, they fall earlier than other flowers, and soon there won't be many left. I'm sure Arthur will be able to find someone to complete his duties" said the king, implying in a very obvious fashion that Merlin's abilities weren't so spectacular that they'd be missed for a few days – or ever, if that mattered. "You can go and tell the prince you'll be out in an errand for Gaius for a few days."

"Thank you, sire" said the doctor, and left, Merlin still trailing behind him. Once they were out of anyone else earshot, Gaius said:

"You owe me this one."

"Thank you, Gaius" said the boy, brightly.

"And Merlin? While you're in your secret quest to do god-knows-what-and-I'm-glad-I-don't; please do bring me some of the flowers."

"But you said last year they were useless" the boy protested. The slopes where it grew were far from where he was going, and it would take half a day detour to catch some.

"Not as useless as you, it seems, if you think that arriving without them will go unoticed" he said, scowling. "Now, hush, you heard the King, you must leave at once."

Merlin took a deep breath and started walking towards their chambers before Gaius' voice called him again.

"Merlin," he said, and there was a glee in his tone that told the boy that he wouldn't like what he was about to hear. "First you must tell the Prince you're going to be out picking flowers for a week!"

The boy stopped, looking at Gaius' amused smile, and started walking the other way around, knowing fully well that Arthur would never pass the chance to spread the story through the knights and tease him endlessly about this story.

Sometimes, he really hated his life.


	4. Chapter 3

Morgana was tired, having spent the whole night kneeling beside her father's grave, but she knew what she had to do. As the sun came up, she rose and looking for just a moment to make sure the two knights and Gwen were really asleep, she mounted on her horse and left.

Although it had been a fast conversation and there hadn't been much time to go through the plan, it had all gone well so far. The potion Merlin had gave her to mix in their water clearly had worked, and if her through was raw from the long hours without anything to drink, it was a small price to pay. She rode back into the cover of trees, looking in the dim light for the path Merlin had told her to take. He said he'd meet her, but she had no idea how he'd be able to get rid of his duties in the castle.

She hoped Gwen and the knights didn't suffer much from her escapade. It wouldn't be fair, and she'd blame herself if Uther decided to punish them. Morgana heard someone coming and hid in the midst of the trees, but soon it became clear who was coming by. No one else in Camelot had so little acquaintance to riding. She came out of the trees, and the boy yelled and fell from the horse.

"You almost gave me a heart attack."

She chuckled, looking at him.

"One would think that after so many bandit raids, magical creatures and hunting parties you'd be prepared for someone to show up in the middle of the woods – especially someone you were expecting."

Merlin was back on his horse, and grinned.

"I'm useless, as Arthur always says. Shall we?"

He guided the horse towards a path some feet ahead, and she stopped before following him.

"Will they be ok?" she said, looking at him. "If something happens to them, it's my fault. Uther…"

"Uther won't punish them" Merlin said, steadily. "If it all goes according to plan, he won't even know you parted from them."

"But… How?"

He shook his head at her, clearly sorry, but his words weren't a comfort when they came.

"Do you know how you sometimes dreams things, and they are so terrible, and you're so keen to avoid them that you end up making it worse? Or making it happen in first place?"

She nodded, but her heart was chilled.

"Nothing that happens with them is your fault. It's their destiny they'll be riding for, and even you can't stand between them and their destiny."

She gave him a small sardonic smile, but rode towards him. The trail wasn't large enough for two horses to stay side by side, so she couldn't quite see this face as they talked.

"When did you become so wise, Merlin? And how can you be so sure? I thought you said you weren't a seer."

"I'm not" he said, sighing. "But there are legends… About all of us, about Camelot and its future. The druidic bards sing songs and tell tales about the days that are about to come, and I've heard enough of them to know some things can't be changed, no matter what we do."

His voice was strained, as if the thought pained him. Morgana didn't like it either – she never believed in fate, unless the one she shaped for herself. That was what she hated the most about her dreams and visions: she couldn't fight them or change them. It made her feel helpless and small, not being able to protect the ones she loved, and even worse: suffering in advance for things she could not change. She said this to Merlin, and he nodded in agreement.

"It's gotta be hard, and you're not the kind to just let things be and do nothing. But, maybe, with some help and training you'll be able to avoid the things you don't need to see and also summon the sight when you want to find out something."

"Let's hope so. It's a burden, but there must be a way to use it to help. But even if I  _did_  manage to gather information beforehand, there is no way Uther would trust it. He would want to know how I found out, and he'd never accept a seer in his midst."

"There's Arthur" said Merlin, clearly not only trying to help, but wishing his words true with all this heart. "Maybe, when he's king… Things might change, then."

"Is that why you're still in Camelot?" she said, amazed by his innocence and his loyalty.

"I believe Arthur will be a fair and just ruler."

"Do you believe it, or it was something you heard in the songs as well?"

Merlin turned to look straight at her, and his horse stopped, sensing the rider's movements.

"I believe it with all my heart, songs or no songs" he said, his voice deep and full of emotion. "I've seen it, many times, in his actions, the king that he will be. He saved my life, Morgana."

"And how many times have  _you_  saved  _his_?" she asked, a cutting tone in her voice. No matter what she wanted to believe, Arthur had proved her he was a decent man just about as many times as he had proved he was his father's son. "That doesn't count?"

Merlin took a deep breath.

"He saved my mother's life, and my village" then, with a smile, he added. "You helped a lot, of course. He got the morteaus flower, defying his father and risking his life"

"I told him to go, or he wouldn't have" she said, raising her chin. "And you helped, didn't you? He said there was a light…"

"Yes, I guess I did", he said, smiling at her. "And you're one of the things that keep him from being an obnoxious prat, I never said otherwise." She grinned back, and he turned serious again. "But when he killed the unicorn, in his final test, he drank poison to save me", a stop, and the boy giggled. "At least we believed it was poison then. And he didn't do it for me, either, or not only for me, but for the whole country, to stop the hunger that was devastating Camelot. He was ready to give his life to fix a mistake he made without even knowing. He's a noble man, and will turn into a fine king when the time comes."

The devotion in his words touched her, and she nodded solemnly.

"And it can't come soon enough" she muttered, as they followed the path.

* * *

It was still mid-morning when Gaius was summoned into the throne room, and he wondered what would be the reason for that, since Uther hadn't seemed gravely ill the previous night, and there was no council being held that day.

"Gaius. At last." Said the King, and his face said he was very displeased. "Sir Lanval told me the most interesting tale this morning."

Gaius eyebrows rose, he was sure this had something to do with Merlin.

"About your ward" he went on, and Gaius shoulders dropped.

"What has he done now?" asked the physician, in a tired tone.

"Sir Lanval was guarding the patrol on their way back to Camelot, when he saw Merlin rode by, an hour before sunrise" said the King, and the old man looked annoyed.

"He left very early."

"They were patrolling the Southern Road" said the King. "While the boy was supposed to go West to find the flower."

"What are you implying, my lord?" asked Gaius, without knowing what to say to calm the king and keep the warlock safe at the same time.

"Sir Lanval says he was heading to Gorlois' tomb."

"Ah" said the oldest man, but it was no surprise to him that Merlin and Morgana were up to something, or that Merlin was stupid enough to get noticed. He might have even greeted the knight, the idiot.

"And last month, I found him on Morgana's chambers in early morning, before the maid had even arrived there" Uther inclined himself towards the other man. "Do you know anything about this, Gaius?"

"I'm afraid not, sire" he said, tense.

"I'll have a party set to follow Morgana, and if I found out he rode to her, or, god forbid, talked her into eloping with him…"

"My Lord!" Gaius exclaimed, shocked, and almost chuckling. "I don't think this is the case..."

"You better hope not, or I'll have him hanged, ward of yours or not" he said, angry. "I've been thinking about finding Morgana a proper Matron since that day. It became clear to me that she has to be watched closely and protected from… possible suitors."

"Sire" said Gaius, in a soft, calming tone. "I'm pretty sure that if Merlin was courting anyone on that party, or  _eloping_ , it would be with Guinevere."

"Guinevere?" Uther asked, looking bewildered.

"Gwen and Merlin are very close, sire, and when he was poisoned last year, she kissed him as soon as he woke up, much to my surprise. I'm pretty sure they are an item."

"Yes… I think I remember Arthur saying something about them being in love when she was accused of sorcery. Still, I think it's best if we find her a matron, and I'll have some man look for her, and if he's near Morgana, or if he has taken her away, Arthur will have to find himself a new manservant"

"If he has anything to do with Morgana's disappearance, I'll kill him with my own hands" said Arthur's voice, as the prince walked into the hall. He inclined his head towards his stunned father and handed him a note.

A ransom note from Hengist.

Merlin was in deep trouble.

* * *

By the mid-afternoon they were already as near the druid camp as they dared to get with their horses. Merlin arranged for an old woman that lived in the closest farm to look for them for a few days, and they came back into the forest, for the last few yards of their journey.

"How did you know where to find the Druids" she asked, finally, when the silence had lasted too long.

"You'd be surprised how many people are still in touch with them even after Uther's prohibition."

"I doubt it" she snorted, looking at him. "Actually, I think they aren't near as many as they should be if he's still in power. People hate him – but maybe they fear him too much to say."

"So, I just needed to pretend to help in the Royal Records for a bit and got hold of a few names in the suspects of treason for consorting with magic users. Then, I asked them for help."

"And why would they help you?" her eyes were piercing. "You're Arthur's manservant, one of the most likely people to be a spy trying to sell the druids off. Unless… Unless they know about you."

Merlin gave her his best goofy grin.

"I'm not really the spy kind, am I? I'm terrible at stealth."

She chuckled, nodding.

"It's a shock that you kept your secret for so long, really" she said, and he pretended he had been shot an arrow to amuse her, which worked. It was easy being around Morgana, easier than it should be, considering how many difficulties lay ahead of them; how much history they had. But she didn't know that, and Merlin could remember now more than ever why they had all loved and trusted her before she turned away from them.

"They don't know" he said, finally, wanting to be as honest as possible. "But Arthur is well respected in the lower town, he treats them fairly. And, while I'm his manservant, I'm also Gaius' ward and apprentice, and he has protected them to the best of his abilities for a long time."

Her face turned dark for a moment at the mention of the name, and he knew she was thinking he hadn't done the same for her. Merlin walked closer to her.

"He really thought it was the best way" he said, his voice low. "He loves you so much he didn't want you to be burden with this knowledge. He never thought your magic would be so strong and break out like this."

"He treated me like a child" she complained, her voice cold, and he looked at her for a second too long.

"We'll always be children in their eyes" he said, finally, for there was nothing else he could say. "I hope you find it in you to forgive him."

"Maybe one day, but not yet" she said, and then she looked up to see the sunlight being filtered through the leaves. The first orange tones were showing up in the sky.

"We're close" Merlin said, reassuringly. "It's just across that creek"

She halted just before entering the camp, and for the first time he noticed she was actually afraid of what would happen. He couldn't blame her, Morgana was raised hearing about the evils of magic, of how those people were untrustworthy, and many other things he didn't even want to think about.

"It will be alright" he said, holding her hand.

"No, it will never be alright again" she said, darkly. "But I'll face it anyway."

* * *

"My Lady Morgana" said the man that was clearly the leader and the owner of the castle. "You're as beautiful as the reports make you do be. Hengist", he said, trying to sound pleasant. "Enchanted."

Gwen felt her blood freeze, and thanked the gods that her lady was safe somewhere else. She had no idea where she had gone, but the best she could do for both was playing her part.

"What do you want?" she said, as imperiously as she could.

"I've been told Uther Pendragon will do anything for his beloved ward" he said, offering her a place to seat beside him. "Don't worry, you'll be well treated, my lady, I'm just curious about how much you're worth."

She didn't need to fake the look of contempt, but Hengist wasn't looking at her anymore, but calling to the cage in the middle of the hall two men to fight for his entertainment. She wondered for how long she could keep this charade before he found out the truth and killed her. It was a matter of time, for surely she was doomed.

When she looked at the warriors, she felt her heart stop, for the winner was looking straight at her, his eyes shining with emotion.

Lancelot.

Maybe there was hope after all.


	5. Chapter 4

Arthur started raising his knights and squires right away. They knew little of how many fighting man Hengist kept, but they knew where he was hidden, and it was a wonderful fortress. They devised some tactics as well, for he should expect them with gold and few battle men, and deliver Morgana immediately. It was just afterwards that they would strike, the biggest part of the army coming around to punish Hengist for his behavior towards Uther, with the sword and the shield – and a siege, if it was needed. They'd starve them if they didn't leave to fight, but Uther would spare nothing if it meant ensuring their safety, for it was clear that Hengist must be made an example for everyone that ever thought about kidnapping Camelot's wards.

While he did his duty, in his heart, he hoped that Hengist wouldn't have thought that he could spare Gwen and killed her. He had to trust Morgana's ability to maintain her servant girl against all odds. And that – the thought with a wry smile – was something that he indeed wouldn't doubt, for she would have killed Uther bare handed before allowing something to happen to Gwen, as she had proved many times before.

Still, whenever he thought of Gwen in Hengist's castle, his heart grew cold as if something terrible would happen there, if he didn't arrive soon enough to avoid it.

Little did he know it was already too late.

* * *

As they walked into the camp, many faces turned to them, but none seemed too surprised by the newcomers. Anyone could point out that Morgana was a court lady, from her clothes to her steps, and even if Merlin's clumsiness wasn't too impressive, they all seemed to be too happy to see him.

"It seems you're more popular here than in Camelot" she said, her voice low and amused.

"Not an easy feat" he answered, and there was laughter in his tone.

"What do we do now?" she asked, looking around. "Who should we talk to?"

Merlin was about to say that he really didn't know, as a voice reached their heads.

"You came!"

It was an unmistakable voice, and Morgana turned around, her eyes hungry with a desire that was not at all sexual, towards the boy.

"Mordred!" it was a cry of desperation and love, which was the first thing to make Merlin suspicious since he had come back. Still, a bound as close as theirs had been couldn't be shattered by merely turning back time. Maybe he could still save the boy as well.

The druid child smiled at them, and returned Morgana's fast embrace. For the first time since they had met, he truly looked like he was: a kid. An orphaned, terribly powerful kid, wise beyond his years from the pain and the difficulties, but a kid nonetheless.

"It took so long, we thought you wouldn't come" he said, his voice smaller when coming through his mouth than it was in their head. "We thought Emrys would keep you away".

Morgana was clearly confused, but Merlin felt both the chance and the danger in such idea, and readily replied:

"It was better to wait, or it would have brought the doom upon you all." He had to use all that was left of his old commanding tone, strong and certain, and although it was already slipping away as everything else was, it seemed to be enough.

"Uther would have sent his army to fetch her" agreed a man behind them, and they turned to face a tall, dark and handsome man, with a single braid falling through his otherwise naked head. "You must forgive us, Mordred still has to learn how to restrain himself."

"He's just a kid" said Merlin, feeling much better around the older druid than around the child. "It is to be expected."

"You talk as if you were expecting us!" said Morgana, looking surprised. "How can that be?"

"You already know the answer to that, Morgana" said the man, but his smile was kind. "Now, come. You must bath and eat. There will be plenty of time to talk."

Merlin couldn't complain about either suggestion, so he gladly walked away. Although he really wanted to help Morgana, he wasn't looking forward to that conversation.

* * *

Gwen was alone in her cell when a sudden sound called her attention. She turned to see Lancelot's face framed in the tiny window that adorned the room.

"Lancelot!"

She climbed in the stone bed to be closed to him, intertwining her fingers in the metal frame. He did the same, touching her hand lightly.

"How did you end up here, Guinevere? I thought you same in Camelot! And why do they think you're the Lady Morgana?"

The servant girl gave a little shrug before answering.

"I have no idea. They trapped us and murdered the guards. I thought they had caught Morgana too, for we were looking for her when that happened, but it seems that it wasn't the case. Now she's missing and Uther will think she's here and won't look for her."

"Don't distress yourself" said the man, gently. "I would bet that Morgana can look after herself and might even arrive home before the ransom note."

"What are  _you_  doing here, Lancelot? I thought you'd be trying to become a knight somewhere!"

"It seems that, although Uther was wrong about many things, he was right about this. I'm a nobody. My luck is that there are always men like Hengist, that are too happy to pay for the kind of entertainment I can give. So, here I am, living a life through my sword. I was a fool to believe I could be something more – I'm nothing."

"Oh, Lancelot" she said, and her voice was soft and caring. "You're everything that is right in this world! You should let… You shouldn't give up. Promise me you won't give up. That you'll go out there and fight for what it's right again because… That's who you are, Lance. Do not lose faith, for there will be none left for the rest of us if you fail!"

He looked at her, touched beyond words, and kissed her finger lightly.

"I have thought about you every day, Guinevere" he whispered.

"You have never been away from my thoughts!" she agreed. "And I still believe in you."

"I'll try and be worthy of that trust" said the knight, gravely. "And I'll get you out. Be ready."

He raised himself and walked away, but in Gwen's heart, she knew she wasn't alone anymore.

* * *

It was some time later that the druid came back to them, an easy smile on his dark face.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I introduced myself before – I'm Aglain, one of the elders of this druid camp."

"You don't seem very old to me" said Morgana, smiling. "And, it is a pleasure."

"Not many of us survived the fires of Uther's reign." He said, but his tone was mild. "And even less of our elders, but we're still enough to ensure that people get the help they need. Which leads us to your arrival."

"How did you know I'd come?"

"You mother was one of your people. It was to be expected you'd inherit Vivienne's power."

"My mother, a druid?" Morgana's voice was full of confusion, but Aglain just smiled again.

"You know very little about us, druids. We weren't always a small cluster of people living in camps. Most of our kind has always lived in the forests or sacred places, but some of them went to marry into the big noble houses, either for love or for politics. There are many people with druids' connections among the noblemen. Your mother was such a woman, for your grandmother was a druid girl who fell in love with your grandfather – and he fell in love with her as well. Luckly, the King back then was more understanding than Uther and gladly consented to the marriage."

"So my mother… She also had magic? And Uther knew about it?"

"He couldn't have missed it even if he wanted to. He kept you wishfully thinking that you'd be like your father, who was no magic in his veins."

There was something in the sentence that struck a chord within Merlin, but he couldn't say exactly why. Some things just faded too fast.

"So… The fire in our house… It wasn't an accident? Was it Uther?" She seemed eager to know, and that made Merlin feel uneasy. They should not walk on this path again.

The man shook his head, denying.

"Although Uther grew to hate magic and can only see its dark side, he'd never strike against your mother. He loved her well, as he loves you, and wouldn't have hurt her for anything. Whether it was an accident or not, I can not say, but Uther wasn't behind it."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I, too, have been among the court when I was young, Morgana, and your mother was the first lady in Uther's court before he was married and also after Ygraine died. Vivianne was precious for him."

"Before he was married? But, how…?" The druid interrupted her, always keeping his voice low and kind.

"Your mother was married to Gorlois much before Uther and Ygraine met. Uther was not yet king when they got married, and Gorlois was his most trusted advisorin his struggle to regain his kingdom. Ygraine was still just a girl, threading along her sister's gowns when Uther first took notice of the golden beauty that was Vivianne's younger half-sister."

"Ok, now I'm the one who's getting confused. Morgana's mother was Arthur's mother sister?" asked Merlin, looking from the lady to the druid.

The man shrugged.

"Although Clendori married her husband for love, she was not strong enough to survive the birth of her second child. It was a great house, and there was a great need for heirs, and he married again, to a Lady of the King's choosing. Lady Mirella bore him four children, one of them was Ygraine."

"So Arthur was uncles and aunts?" interrupted the servant, again, and Morgana looked at him with annoyance clearly spreading through her face.

"As you know, Tristan was killed while battling against his King, a traitor, trying to avenge his sister's death although it was childbirth that killed her. Vivianne died, and their older sister is long gone from his land. I know nothing about their two younger brothers, but they were just children when Ygraine died – and so was I. Yet, somehow, I don't think you came all this way to talk about things you could learn by going to the castle's library."

"No, we didn't" said Morgana, trying to control her anxiety. "I came for help. Merlin tells me you help people that have powers and don't know what to do with them."

The man smiled, easily.

"Why, but you already found yourself the greatest instructor you could have! You'll learn more about your magic as the time goes on, but there's hardly something we could do for you that Merlin can't."

The boy blushed but Morgana didn't take any notice, and didn't hesitate in explaining what had leaded them there.

"But he said there's something he can't help me with. My dreams – I dream true, sometimes. Other times, I have the most terrible nightmares."

The man nodded, slowly, understanding.

"A seer" he said, lightly. "I see. I'll look for the council of other more gifted in this art than I before saying anything that might not be true. But you'll find peace here, even from your dreams. Sleep, Morgana, and we'll talk more tomorrow."

It was clear that she wanted to protest, but he rose in a fluid movement, and left the two alone in the tent. Morgana was frustrated, but Merlin was warm and comforted, so he found no fault in the man's words.

"There's no use in trying to rush him" he said, tugging her sleeve. "Let's just rest, Morgana. It was a long day."

She looked at the warlock, suddenly lost and very young.

"Can they really help me or did we came here for nothing?"

"They'll help you" he said, softly. "They helped Mordred, after all."

She nodded and comforted by his words, started to get herself ready to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it's enjoyable, and I know it is slow paced, but I like to take my time with the story. Hopefully, it won't bore you to death – I know there's a lot of explaining, but I wanted to build a view Merlin's world as much in accordance to the legend as I could while still being faithful to the show's changes. I feel there are a lot of things that are just throw away during the episodes that can be used to build powerful drama. And, about Vivianne being Ygrane's sister, I'll just assume that it did came from my MZB influences and such. Which, also, explains Vivianne's mother name. Also, I'm sad that Aglain died so soon, for I loved his character (so different from Alvarr!), so I'm building him up a bit and trying to keep him alive. Hopefully, I'll manage to post the next chapter before you all just give up on the fic again


	6. Chapter 5

It was mid-morning when Hengist showed up – out of nowhere – in Gwen's cell.

"My men saw six Camelot knights with something on a carting wheel. It seems that Uther Pendragon does love his ward as much as the stories say." He smiled at her, and in all unpleasant things Gwen had seen in her life, this was one of the worst. "And I can surely see why. One wonders if his bed is still empty after all those years because he hopes to turn his ward into his wife soon."

"You are filthy, Hengist!" said the girl, truly disgusted. She didn't like Uther much, but it was clear that he saw Morgana as his own child.

"And since we're talking about filth" he went on, still smiling. "I'm moving you upstairs. You must be made ready to the visitors."

"I'm sure they'll take me anyway" she answered, worried that she might be moved and Lancelot wouldn't find her. "So it doesn't really matter."

Hengist smile got even wider.

"Oh, but they are not taking you, milady" he said, full of pleasure. "Soon Uther will learn that this was but his first payment. And if he decides you're not worth double of what I asked, well, I am sure we can put you to some use here" said the man, spreading his arms.

There was no need for Gwen to fake her feeling of utter horror at these remarks, but he took little notice of that.

"Take her up" he said, and the guards were upon her, forcing her to walk.

"Let me go" she said, annoyed. "I will go with you, there's no need to drag me."

"Very well" said Hengist. "I'm sure you'll find it all to be to your disposition. You'll see your knights during dinner, tonight."

* * *

Arthur was almost a whole day behind the knights with the gold – it was safer that way, he didn't want to be seen. They were all serious and no one talked to him, for they all feared his temper. He missed Merlin the most during these long hours, for his servant, annoying as he was, always managed to lighten things up.

But, of course, he had to be picking up flowers somewhere else. He was really good for nothing else, surely no good when it came to trouble or when it came to doing his chores. Still, he could talk all day long, and he wasn't used to being silent for so long anymore.

It made him think too much about the perils Morgana and Gwen had faced – were facing now – and worrying about things he knew he wouldn't know for sure until the battle was upon him. Arthur knew he could trust every knight that was around during the battle, but none of them could even imagine how he felt about Gwen, while Merlin would share his concern.

(Not even to himself he could admit that even if Morgana wasn't there, he'd face a siege to have Guinevere safe again; he couldn't, for those thoughts wouldn't take him anywhere. It couldn't be, and it wouldn't be, and he better face it).

* * *

It was Mordred that woke them up. Silent and serious, the child led Morgana towards three older druids, who were supposed to help her with her seeing skills, before she could break her fast. Merlin, on the other hand, was to join Aglain in his tent.

He worried about what the druid could want as he walked towards elder. He seemed to know a lot more than he had first expected, and Merlin feared he'd make something to guarantee that Merlin didn't sell them out. Mordred clearly was still suspicious of him, although the boy had no reason to, not anymore. All he had ever done to the boy was helping him scape Camelot against Kilgarrah's wishes. And it had coasted him, all of them, dearly, that he hadn't allowed the child to be killed. Now he wouldn't regret it – he'd make sure that Mordred was cared for and loved, and the first step towards it was keeping Aglain safe.

The man smiled as he walked inside, two mugs set on the small wooden table that he kept near his pallet. There were also two chairs made of wool and wood, that could be used to sit or sleep, depending on the moment. He gestured Merlin to one of them and took the other.

"We are glad that you brought her, Emrys" was the druid's first sentence. "And glad that you told her about your powers."

"Well… What else would I do?" he asked, smiling and pretending to be innocent. Aglain frowned.

"Not tell her until it was too late. Send her alone, the knights of Camelot behind her. You could have ruined this camp…" he said, and Merlin held his breath, ready to answer that he would never do such thing. "Again."

The word shook him to the core; he couldn't believe that Aglain knew about what he had done. But the man's eyes were hard and sure as he faced the warlock.

"I would never…"

"And yet, you did" said the black druid, taking a deep breath. "I suppose that you came back to right your wrongs, to make everything…  _happy_. You should know that it's not that simple. You took too great a risk in turning back time, against its usual stream."

"How…?"

"It goes hard on the seers"

Merlin shook his head, he remembered the dragon saying something like that before.

"I want… I should have told her all along" he said, shaking his head. "She needed to know she was not alone. She didn't have to…"

Aglain smiled lightly.

"Morgana is a good girl, and a powerful magician. She had her share of guilt in all that happened. You shouldn't be too hard on yourself. She made her choices, and she chose to turn away from you. I don't think it will be so easy to avoid it, Merlin. She still might turn against Uther."

"Morgause" he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "How can I…?"

"Morgause" agreed Aglain, shaking his bald head. "But there's nothing you can do to save her, she lived her whole life in hatred and desiring vengeance on Uther. She's too hurt, Merlin. You should remember that."

"And Mordred? Can you take care of Mordred? Make sure he doesn't end up… In the wrong hands? And Alvarr…"

The man took another deep breath.

"You bought me some time, but I'm not sure I'll survive much longer. One can't avoid death as easily as that. It may be that I'll live for years, it may be that I'll die soon, hit my head on a rock in a fall that shouldn't usually hurt. I can't take care of the boy."

"So I'll take him" said Merlin, impulsively. "Between me and Morgana we should be able to…"

"No" said Aglain, brusquely. "You are still children. That would hurt more than help. But we can make… arrangements. What Mordred needs is a parent, a grown up that will stand by him and teach him both about his powers, and right and wrong. I'll send the boy away as soon as you two leave the camp. I'll take him myself to make sure that Alvarr never learns about the boy."

"And where will you take him? How could it be safe for him to live as… Who would…?"

"Alice."

It all came back to Merlin, Alice and Gaius, the Manticore and the fear, what had almost happened.

"But she has turned… The Manticore and…"

"Mordred will give her something to worry about and avoid her meddling with such creatures. They are both lonely and in a great need of a family, of love. It will work, I hope. They will be in Cornwall until the next spring, I think."

"Next spring? Why…" the druid rose, interrupting him.

"Remember one thing, Merlin: when you change what you did, it changes everything around it. People that were saved end up dying, some are never born, some are born when they wouldn't have been, some people that were supposed to live die. You'll have to be careful, otherwise you'll unbalance nature, and it might be your life the one that's claimed too soon."

The druid left, and Merlin felt a knot in his belly. He hoped he would be able to do keep the flux of time and the balance of life and death as naturally as possible.

* * *

Gwen was greeted by a maid who was already setting her a bath. It seemed surreal to have someone serving her, but she knew her whole life depended upon it. Hengist had sent a beautiful red dress for her to change into, but she paid little attention to it – the girl amazed her, chatting away.

Gwen couldn't really pay much attention to what she was saying as she helped her out of her clothes and entered the blissfully hot bath. Before she could fully adjust to it, the girl had her hands on Gwen's curls, massaging her scalp. The brunet gasped, and the girl stopped.

"Am I hurting you, milady? I'm sorry…"

"No" said Gwen, touched. "I wasn't expecting it. You can leave me to bathe…"

"I can't leave" said the girl, biting her lip in a way that reminded Gwen of herself. "Hengist ordered me to…"

"Right, then, but you don't have to wash my hair….?"

"Rowan."

"Rowan. You don't have to wash my hair, I can do it myself. You don't need to…."

"It is an honor!" said the girl, squeaking. "I'd love too, but if milady doesn't think I'm good enough…"

Gwen immediately pited the girl. She was a pretty thing, red haired with a freckled face and a bright smile that disappeared as she withdrew.

"It's not that" she said, softly. "You were marvelous, Rowan, really, and it felt fantastic, I just don't want you to feel like you have to wash me, I can do it myself."

"It is a pleasure, not a problem" said the serving girl, smiling again. "May I?"

"Yes" said Gwen, reclining again in the bath tub and allowing the younger girl to massage her scalp.

"People always say that I'm good at washing hairs" babbled the girl. "That was why Hengist sent me to you instead of another girl, even though they say I'm useless to everything else…"

"I can see why" said the other, giggling. "Your fingers are magical."

"Maybe you could bring me back to Camelot with you" said the girl, clearly nervous. "Not that you have to, of course, I just mean…"

"Rowan" interrupted Gwen, holding the girls hand. "If I ever manage to come back, I'll take you with me."

The girl smiled and Guinevere felt good about herself for the first time since Morgana had disappeared.

* * *

The woman in front of her must be near Uther's age, but she was so graceful that it was hard to actually notice the small signs that gave away how old she was. She had an understanding smile on her face as Mordred delivered Morgana to her company.

"I'm glad that we've met again, Morgana" she said, sweetly. "I always hoped you'd show your mother's blood in you."

"Did you know her?" asked the girl, curiously. She could hardly remember her mother, although she had lost her own father almost a whole year before her mother was gone. Maybe it was because she always knew, since she was very small, that every time she saw her father riding out might be the last and had worked hard to keep every detail about him on her mind. She'd never imagined she'd lose her mother, who had always been there.

"We were girls together" she said, smiling. "We trained together to control our visions, and now I'm training her daughter. How proud she would have been to see you here."

"How sad she would have been if she saw how Uther deals with her kind."

The druid clicked her lips, before delivering a sad smile.

"I think she'd be far more likely to forgive him than you seem to be, child. Vivienne was ever understanding towards other people."

Morgana felt like a child being told off, but the druid woman didn't press on. She merely set a silver basin on the log that was in front of them. It was a carved log, full of symbols and that went right to Morgana's chest, allowing her to look into the basin comfortably.

"Now, it might take a while before you can do this easily, but you should practice at least a bit every night. If you learn how to conjure your visions, they will no longer torment you in your sleep."

"What exactly am I to do?"

"The basin will work like a mirror, like a window into your inner vision. All sorts of things can be used that way, as mirrors, fire, even the sky or your own closed eyes; but since you're beginning, the basin will give you something to focus on more easily. As you grow used to it, you'll be able to call it at your will, without any sort of help."

Morgana nodded, wondering how she would find the time to practice alone. There were always people around her and she couldn't trust Gwen with this, she couldn't risk her friend that much.

"Now, look inside it, child" said the druid, softly. "Tell me what you see."

"Myself" she replied, easily. The basin was filled with water that reflected her face.

"Take a deep breath and look inside your eyes. Look inside yourself, Morgana, and allow you magic to flow."

"How will I….?"

Yet, before she could continue her question, she felt it – something inside her stirred and seemed to be drawn to the water. She couldn't look away, and she felt as if some part of her touched the water.

"That's good" said the woman, "Now allow it to flow down, into the earth, into the very core of nature, to keep a hold of you."

It was harder to explain than to do, and Morgana felt as the light flow of power touched something strong and stable into the earth. She felt as if she was swinging between the two power lines she had drawn, but her body was perfectly still.

"Look inside your eyes, Morgana. Look into yourself."

As soon as the voice reached her hears, some part of her was obeying. She saw herself, proud and high, planning to kill Uther. She saw a child running away from the flames, crying. She saw herself walk, and talk, laugh and dance, in a million of different moments past. She saw herself older, trembling in dark woods, and heard her own hard voice as she ordered the death of common people, sitting on Camelot's throne, a power so dark that shook her right back into the present, as she looked around, bewildered.

"What…?"

"This is you, Morgana. Who you are, and what you might become. Every seer must know their own heart before they can glimpse on what may lie in other's hearts. Every seer must be aware of their own faults and their own power before they can look into the future and past, and know what sort of monster they might become if they tries to follow or avoid their visions to their own ends."

She had thought this woman was nice and sweet, but she was not so sure now. She felt a shiver of fear as she remembered all the things she had ever heard Uther say. Was he right? Did the magic always corrupt one's heart? Was she a monster, a killer? She would have stopped right away, but Mordred was still around and touched her as lightly as a butterfly, encouraging.

She wasn't going to become that.

"Let's try again" said the druid woman, calmly. "Look into the basin. Try and find things that already happened. Allow it to flow back to the past."

It was all glimpses that made little sense. Her father and Uther arguing, Arthur put frogs in her bed, Gwen crying as her mother died, as her father died. Merlin talking to Arthur, his eyes shining. Arthur and Gwen kissing on her house. She was riding away from her father's tomb, coming to meet her kind.

It felt like opening her eyes again, but she hadn't really closed them. She was back, and her mother's friend was smiling.

"Yes, that was excellent. You are a fast learner, Morgana…"

"I don't know how I'm doing it" she confessed, confused. "It just sort of… happens."

The woman nodded, as she gestured for her to position herself once again.

"Now, Morgana… See what's happening right now."

And it was there: Uther's concern in his throne room, Arthur and his army walking though the forest, Gwen in prison, mistaken for her, the knights that would have guarded her murdered. She could hear their voices, their thoughts, and she knew they'd all fail without Merlin, without  _her_.

She came back with a gasp, and turned around at once, facing a just out of his tent Merlin.

"We have to go now."

And the quiet nod he gave her told her he already knew what was happening.


	7. Chapter 6

Arthur was the kind of man that rather takes matters into his own hands. He always had a hard time in delegating tasks for other people, and while his father always said that a good king rules by himself, Arthur had a feeling that didn't meant he should go himself inside Hengist's fortress to recover Gwen and Morgana.

He didn't like the idea of sending his man into danger while he stood back, but some of the old knights had reminded him of the obvious problems: it was supposed to be a surprise that they had a whole army, just a small retinue was supposed to meet Hengist at first, and it wouldn't be near enough to protect him in case they decided to make another captive.

Arthur didn't fear the possibility, but he knew it would be a set down for his forces if he were to get caught. It would be best if Hengist didn't even learn that Arthur himself had come until it was too late, and he was on his back, Arthur's sword's in his chest, ready to die like the dog he was.

Maybe it would be also best for him to stay behind if he was having such a hard time controlling his nerves.

In the end, it was easy to pick three knights to send Hengist the money he had asked for, while allowing other five to stay around but not to enter the fortress. It would be better to give Hengist a good pretense that they were doing business. It would be also safer for the girls if Hengist didn't think they were a threat, and Arthur's presence was sure to tip him off to something odd. He wasn't the kind of man that would understand that Arthur would come because he cared far too much.

Sir Leon was the obvious choice to lead, for he managed to make everyone respect him while staying calm and composed. He was not only a fair fighter and a seasoned warrior but also the child of one of Camelot's most important nobles and had a sure talent for politics and peace talks, as well as any sort of compromise he might need to reach with Hengist.

Arthur sent Sir Fraomar and Sir Kegan with him for support, and a handful of others to watch over the gold cart. Uther had devised a trap, which wasn't Arthur's favorite way of handling things, but he had to agree it should work – if they managed to stay out of sight from the sentries. He would stay behind with thirty other knights, not an easy party to hide, but he had to trust it would be for the best. The knights of Camelot were the best in the land, and while Hengist might hold thrice that amount of man inside his walls, surely they weren't nearly as skilled or loyal as his own man were.

When it was all said and done, it was still hard to sit around and do nothing, just wait for the outcome before the battle. He liked to spend time with the men, and they could always count on each other in the eve of an attack, but his heart was heavy as he thought of what might have passed during the few days since he had last seen Gwen.

He knew that Hengist was no fool and would never harm Morgana, not if he hoped to get his money; but Gwen was worthless to him. Surely he had entertained the idea of killing her instead of having another mouth to feed; but Arthur had to believe that Morgana would have threatened him and bullied him until he left her alone. Still, it didn't mean that she had come to no harm – he knew men, and he knew how they thought of servants, and Gwen was a beauty. Hengist might have spared her life, but that didn't mean she was being well-treated or not suffering.

It was the worst part – not knowing what happened inside those walls. He had no doubt Morgana would do everything in her power to keep Gwen as safe as she was herself, but even with all her fire, there was little she could do if they decided to ignore her words.

No, he wouldn't think of it – of what might come to her. He had to keep his calm, and hope for the best outcome. And if he learned they had done as much as lay a single hand on her, he would kill the man himself.

"That won't undo whatever he has done" said a small voice in his head, and Arthur grunted. He hated feeling hopeless, but there was little he could do about it now. All that was left for him to do was waiting.

And so he did.

* * *

It shouldn't surprise Merlin how fast the druids are arranged for their departure, but, as he reminded himself, they had been ready for everything about that journey. It was clear that Hirwen, the druid seer that had been with Morgana, was indeed very powerful. She had taken little notice of Merlin, completely involved with the girl that had been put under her care.

"It's not enough" she warned, putting a necklace around Morgana's neck. "But it should help you to sleep. You must remember to take it out during the day, and allow it to be bathed by the sun. It shall not be touched by anyone else."

Her voice was grave and serious, as she watched them.

"What happens if someone else touches it?" asked Morgana, feeling the jewel with her fingers.

Hirwen gave her a sad smile.

"The current of time will again pass through your head" she said, seriously. "It's a simple spell, so it can past unnoticed even by most people familiar with the Old Religion; I wouldn't want you to drag attention to it. You will still need to practice every day, and try to find your own control and balance – as we all do – but it should allow you to rest much better until you are ready to wield this control over yourself."

"Will it take long?" asked Merlin, worried. It wasn't so much the visions that were a problem, but the magical outbursts during the night.

"Yes" said the woman, gravely. "It will be years before she can fully control what she sees – even now, sometimes, I am claimed by vision against my will. It is something you'll have to grow used to."

He could see the tension in Morgana's face, and he was sure that it was the same he felt. It wasn't what he had hoped for, but it was better than nothing.

"I know you are scared" said Hirwen, touching Morgana's head with affection. "I wish there was more we could do, but it is a lonely path, that of a seer." She turned towards Merlin, looking at him fully. "If you help her deal with her power, it is unlikely that even a powerful nightmare would cause magic to happen spontaneously. It happens because it's been bound too strongly for too long, so it leaks when she's vulnerable. As everything in life, it has to be honed and used, put under our control so it won't control us. It is a sense, a gift, a need like any other" she added, looking at the girl. "You shouldn't be afraid of using it, but you must remember that it is you that rule it, not the other way around."

Morgana nodded tightly, and Merlin found himself wishing against all odds that they could have Hirwen with them in Camelot, to help. It was a selfish desire, and foolish as well, but he couldn't avoid thinking that she was better equipped to deal with Morgana than he would ever be.

"Now, I won't keep you longer" she said, smiling at them.

"Thank you" said the girl, hugging the druid seer, warmly. "I can't say…"

"There's no need for that" said the woman, patting her again. "It is a duty and an honor, as I said before. I'm glad to be of service. It is more than I could expect for, and it pleases me greatly."

Merlin knew he hadn't imagined the way Hirwen's eyes flashed towards him as she said those words, as if she was thanking him for allowing her the chance to try. It was weird to think that other people might actually understand what he had done, but it was to be expected.

"Genthin will take you two where you need to go" said Aglain, reaching them. "Or as close as he can, but I think it would be better if he didn't go inside the fortress with you" He nodded toward an older man, close to his sixty decade, before continuing. "He's gifted, but not a warrior, and no longer young enough to face well the hardships of unexpected encounters."

"Don't worry" said Merlin, seriously. "I wouldn't dream of it. Honestly, I can't even begin to…"

"You have already begun" answered Aglain, nodding pleasantly. "And we're all thankful for it. I shall follow our conversation and prepare Mordred to leave in a few days."

"Where are you sending him?" Morgana asked, nervously. She glanced around, and Mordred appeared by her side as if he had felt her distress.

"He's going to leave with an old friend" reassured Aglain, kindly. "He's still young, and we're always at the mercy of bandits and armies that might not believe in our peaceful life style. It would be better if he were to have a true home, with someone to care for him. Mordred was never supposed to stay long with us" he added, smiling. "Iseldir left Mordred in my charge as his group moved to Cendred's lands, and asked me to find him a place where he could grow properly, without being endangered by other's man's ambitions. I think that now I have found the right person to care for him."

Merlin could see that Morgana wanted to say the same thing he had said before – that she'd take him with her, and that they'd take care of him, but, somehow, the words didn't come out. She seemed to understand too well that what Aglain was about to give him was more than she could offer while she had to stay in Camelot, under Uther's watchful eye. They had not forgotten the incident in which he escaped, and it would be certain death to bring him back to the city.

Slowly, she nodded, before crushing the boy between her arms with a tender love that made Merlin think of his own mother and her worries about his safety. He would have smiled, if he could, because from everything that had changed, Morgana's feelings for Mordred wouldn't be one of those things.

"We will meet again" she said, clearly trying to sound surer than she felt. "It will be alright."

Aglain smiled at them once more, and he motioned Genthin to approach them.

"Our thoughts and hopes are with you" said Aglain, one hand at each of them. "Now, go and save your friends."

Merlin hardly had the time to wonder what he meant, since while they carried their bundles, there were no horses around, before Genthin had gotten a strong hold of both of their wrists and whispered words of power, enveloping them in a whirlwind of colors and sounds as they moved away.

* * *

After all those years serving in the castle, Gwen found it was easier to act like a noblewoman than she would have expected. These man were nothing like the ones she knew in Camelot, for they had no shred of honor or respect for other people, but Hengist seemed to hold them in fear, and for that, they left her alone for the most part, even as they escorted her towards the dinner.

Gwen knew there was little she could do – her charade was nearly over. Soon enough, there would be Knights from Camelot around, and they'd soon notice that this wasn't the person they had come for. Even if she was lucky enough that one of them wouldn't say it out loud at the first opportunity or challenge Hengist on his deceit, there was little chance they would be able to do something for her. Even know, Lancelot's promises were her biggest source of consolation, and the only way out of the situation she was in.

One small measure of comfort that she was granted was that Rowan seemed to have no other chores but to walk around her all the time. The girl had helped her to dress in the fine red silks that had been sent, braided her hair and set a long red veil around her head, that shielded her from the view of most man.

Rowan was also, clearly, well known through the fortress, and in spite of her shyness around Gwen, she didn't seem to have the same kind of trouble around the common people hovering around. She had a sharp tongue, and wild manners that seemed to amuse the men, who all threated her like a little girl with too much confidence in her hands. She had clearly had taken seriously her duties to 'the lady Morgana', and made sure that no one disturbed them or bothered them, protecting her fiercely.

"She's not in a dungeon, you know? She's a guest" said the red-haired, annoyed.

"She's a prisoner to be sold for money" was the man's curt answer, and she could hear the tone of annoyance in the girl's voice.

"Yes, but a royal prisoner, not a whore to be paraded around while you all imagine what it would be like to have their way with her. Now, move along, I'm sure you're supposed to be patrolling the corridors, not trying to sneak a view of her."

"You are a little pester" said the man, already walking away.

"Yes, and you all love it" replied Rowan, shutting the door with a sharp movement. "Man! Honestly, it's like they've never even seen a woman!" she complained, and Gwen couldn't avoid a smile. It was amazing that living in the middle of such people Rowan could still be so caring and sweet.

"Won't talking like that get you into trouble?" asked Gwen, worried.

Rowan gave her a little laugh.

"Maybe a few lashings, but I don't think so. I don't think Hengist would approve of them cutting short on their rounds to look at you, it is what he pays them for. Now, if it were someone else… But they all think I'm still a girl, so, they never take me seriously."

"I know the feeling" Gwen said, softly, and touched the girl's hand. Rowan was clearly uncomfortable with that, and started looking for something to keep herself busy.

"I was born here, you see?" she babbled, moving towards the curtains. "My mother worked in the kitchen, and she was one of Hengist's favorites, so, I guess that's why he kept her around after the got pregnant. He never claimed me, and my mother never claimed I was his child either, so they kept their peace and I managed to grow up almost as a normal child – well, as normal as it can be in a place like this, but it wasn't too bad. Mom was amazing, and everyone around cared for me since I was the only child around. They spoiled me rotten, the old man says, and he's right. By the time I started actually having duties, I was too familiar with most of them to be scared, and even the new ones hardly ever bother me. Well, that and because when Accan tried to make his moves on me, my mom put wild mushrooms in his supper and gave him a good week sick, so, it warned them off."

Gwen felt more than a bit sick at this idea – she knew too well those things happened, even in Camelot, but Rowan didn't seem to be old enough to be dealing with those kind of problems yet. She must be yet shy of her fourteenth birthday.

"Your mom sounds amazing" she said, trying to hide how she felt.

"Yeah, she was" agreed Rowan. "It was a fever that took her, last winter, so I've had enough of here. While she was around… Well, it was home for her, and I couldn't imagine myself leaving her behind, but now… I'm not bound to stay, you know? Hengist might want some gold for me, but I can have been saving it for a while, whenever I manage to win a bet or do some extra chore, so even if you claimed me… I would pay you back" she reassured the woman, and then, her face fall. "I mean. It's just… I could leave any time I wished, but I think it would be safer for me to look for a new life if I set out in the middle of a company. I'm just worried about the road, you know? I wouldn't… Expect you to keep me or anything."

It hurt Gwen that the girl managed to talk about herself as if she was a thing to be had by one person or the other, but those were the ways of life for those who had nothing but themselves to offer. She told herself that it could be worse, and wished with her whole heart that there would be a way to take Rowan away with them – if they managed to escape, they surely would find Camelot's army easily, and even if it mean they would be disappointed at Morgana's absence (Gwen shuddered to think what might have happened to her lady, where could she be that they believed she was here?), surely they wouldn't mind having the girl following them as she moved back to Camelot.

There was a knock on the door, and Rowan jumped eagerly, moving briskly towards it and opening it forcefully.

"I've said it before, it's not time for supper and she's not here for you to ogle" she said, before she could even see who it was. "Oh."

The girl's silence startled Gwen, but, as she moved to see who it was, scared of what might happen, she saw Lancelot's face.

"I only wished to share a few words with… the lady Morgana" he said, politely.

"I thought…" Rowan said, back to her shy behavior. "Nevermind."

She looked at Gwen, unsure.

"It's the new champion" she said, tightly. "He wishes a word."

"Send him in" said Gwen, trying to control her emotions.

Rowan hovered around, unsure of what to do. It was clear that she was torn between staying and protecting Gwen from whatever she thought Lancelot wanted, while, at the same time, she knew she should give them some privacy. After a few seconds, she leaned against the door she had just closed as Lancelot walked towards Gwen.

"I was terrified when I found your cell empty" he said, his voice soft.

"The knights of Camelot have been sighted" she informed him, nervously. "Hengist moved me up so he could up on a show of how I'm being treated."

Lancelot nodded slowly, clearly measuring his words.

"You must keep the pretense. I will not allow you to die here."

Gwen looked inside his eyes, fully registering his words.

"What about you?"

"I have little to live for" was his answer, and the bitterness she had felt in their previous meeting was still there, even if not as strongly as before.

"Do not say that" she said, moving over against her own will and clasping his hand.

"It is the truth. For all of my words, all I believed, I have come to nothing." He looked at her, still holding her hand, and there was an infinite sadness in his eyes. "This is what I must do, and I care little for what might happen next, if you are safe – it's all that matters."

"It matters to me that you're also safe" she whispered, without being able to stop herself. Lancelot stirred something different inside her, something that she knew she could never feel about anyone else. She had fancied herself in love with him before, when they first met, and over the long months after he left Camelot, she had fought against her feelings and wished them away, for she thought they'd never meet again. Now that she had found him again, she couldn't bear the idea of a world in which Lancelot didn't exist.

"I did not know you felt this way" he said, and she blushed.

"I didn't even know I could feel this way about anyone" she confessed, looking at him.

"Then you give me reason to live" his voice was soft and caring, but there was steel beneath it as he went on. "Be ready. I'll come to you after supper."

He let go of her hand, but not before he had bowed and kissed it as a knight would do to a high lady. Rowan seemed a bit uncomfortable with their previous movements, but not surprised at his final moves, as Gwen gave him a short bow as a woman of Morgana's station should give to a man of common birth that had proved himself a champion.

Lancelot left with a small curtsy to the girl, that looked at Gwen wide-eyed as she closed the door.

"You have a serious admirer in there. And handsome too!" she said, clearly thrilled. "It is a pity that he's a mercenary – he has the standing of a true knight!"

"Yes" said Gwen, softly, sitting on the bed. "Yes, he does."

And as Rowan giggled and spoke of boys, she wondered if they would ever manage to leave the fortress unscathed and what would they do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: I know, I know, it took me ages -AGAIN-. But, honestly, I wrote this whole chapter in the last 24 hours, so! Well, that doesn't mean I had completely dropped the fic during the meantime, because I actually have some 15k words on many future scenes written down already - while chapter 7 is yet to be written, chapter 8 is pretty much done, and bits of chapters even furthest ahead. And they are getting longer - the chapters - as well. I know I take too long to update, and I know it makes it hard to keep up with the story, but I'm really having the time of my life with it, and I have so many plans! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: This is my first Merlin longfic, and I have no idea how long will it be before it is completed. It's being written for a Kink Me Merlin Prompt and hopefully it won't be a complete waste of your time. I'd be thankful for reviews - even if they are about my grammar. English isn't my first language and I don't know many people in this fandom, so I don't have a beta reader (looking for one, any tips?). Anyway, hope you'll enjoy the ride.


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